my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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