Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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