so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
