remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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