we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
