Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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