dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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