and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
