I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
