Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
