so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
