Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
