Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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