HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
