next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
