I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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