nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
