You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
