I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I need water and some morals
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
