so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
