I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
