I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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