there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
