NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
