Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Where is the hickey?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
