these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
