farters have to be the big spoon...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
