Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
