I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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