i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize