We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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