dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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