he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
