My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
