First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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