he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
