i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
