The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
