At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
