she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
