I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
