hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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