id be glad to
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize