Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think people are normalizing furries
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
