I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
