Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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