Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
