oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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