Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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