I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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