people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize