I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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