Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
