i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We left the knife in your bed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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