obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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