So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
