maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
