He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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