are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
