Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
